Recently, the crack staff at Knuckle Cracker has been doing some research into the next big thing. We always strive to find that next innovation, that next breakthrough before anyone else can. And, I dare say we’ve found it. Announcing today, April 1, 2013, Knuckle Cracker is out of the primitive video game business and will be pursuing the next major breakthrough in home entertainment. It’s just too amazing to not devote 100% of our efforts to, and even with Knuckle Cracker’s vast resources, we need all hands working on this next project. As CEO, I’ve made this call but I have done so with 100% of the support of Knuckle Cracker staff.
With no further ado I give you the next major breakthrough in home entertainment! Introducing a fully 3D, tactile, immersive battle environment! The system includes amazingly precise physics that literally operates at the scale of quarks. Temperature, gravity, evaporation, it’s all there. Lighting is also 99.999% accurate (at least that is what our testing reveals, though our lead tester does wear glasses). What’s better is that this fully 3D environment can operated for years without the need for recharging.
The first product planned for launch with this technology is actually based on the Creeper World video games. But, I’m sure you will all agree that the potential of the new technology is just light years beyond the old video game versions. Just imagine you and your friends huddled around this fully 3D environment in your own ‘holodeck‘. Interact with your friend in real time for a full multi–player experience like you have never experienced. And yes, AT LAST ONE OR MORE OF YOU CAN PLAY AS THE CREEPER!
Now, even with Knuckle Cracker’s vast, mountain-sized treasury, we still need your help. I’ve been informed by my CFO that it doesn’t matter if we already have gazillions at our disposal, we still need to raise the money for this project as if we were poor… ha.. imagine that… uhh anyway… So, we are exploring making early versions of this new tech available via a KickStarter campaign. For just $500 USD (or was it $5000… I’ll check on that) you can reserve a special platinum box of Creeper Agent. Trust me, when you play as the Creeper this will allow you to alter the physics of your Creeper in absolutely amazing ways.
And if it isn’t already clear, yes this means that CW3 will not be released…. not as a video game anyway. I know this may disappoint some of you, but I really doubt it at this point. What with this new tech it would be like releasing a new propeller design after anti–gravity was invented.
Each kit is planned to include: 1 large bottle of blue food coloring, 1 box of Creeper Agent (white glue), 1 box of Borax (combines with white glue), 1 large container of mold-able clay (for terraforming map), over 100 tiny little sponges, giant table sized play area, coupon for 10 poster sized print outs of Creeper World maps. Note: Customer must provide water (H2O, or Dihydrogen Monoxide) to complete the setup. Bottles of Dihydrogen Monoxide are planned to be available from Knuckle Cracker for a nominal fee of $100 per bottle plus shipping and handling of an undisclosed amount.
*Slow claps
😀
I take it your new target audience are pre-schoolers? Good move! THat market segment constantly renews itself.
Pre-schoolers are a primary focus, but schoolers, post-schoolers, and post-post-schoolers are also a target (this tech can replace bingo if you catch my drift).
😛 Well played, sir, you almost had me.
same here….this is got to be the worst joke yet :\ grrrr
April fools
I have been following this tech.for some time and I am amazed with its progress.
Aren’t you worried about crossing the laws regarding Dihydrogen Monoxide? I’ve heard that stuff can be dangerous!
It’s really frightening once you learn more about it.
Did you know it’s found in over 99% of pre-cancerous growths?
it also has a 100% death rate: anyone that consumes or comes in contact with it will die.
it is also a major component in acid rain
it’s crazy stuff, you should be careful around it
thank you, this made my day 🙂
i have to say you are taking this advantage of this day *slow claps* congradulation you are now #5 on my top 5 pranks list good job
Best April fool ever :),idk if you think someone would buy that to have his child intoxicated with that stuff
Some hours ago i was thinking : “what will Virgil give us for today”.
I bet on a fake CW3 release, i was wrong. 🙂
…Virgil… *Fists clenched*
All I can say is that you lost me as a follower, fan, and wanna-be.
WAIT A MINUTE…………………………………..
*Looks at what day it is* *looks at past vids* Something isn’t right here… Where’s the “Delete Post” button?
did you get it 😛
I like your emphasis on your enormous staff and the use of all their titles 😀
It’s a shame for CW3, but this looks way better anyways! Can’t wait to play as the creeper!
I recommend that you include a notice for safe-handling of Dihydrogen Monoxide, as many will probably lack the proper expertise to handle fluids of this nature. After all, you don’t want your customers to drown themselves, do you?
or die because of contamination or exposure.
hahaha u almost got me
Sister was grinning like a maniac. I felt like an idiot when i realized it was April fools. 🙂 looking forward to Creeper World 3, so is my sister
Good job sir, good job.
I too was betting on the fake-CW3 release, but I suppose that’d just be too mean.
Liking the style.
Great prank Virgil, I am ashamed to say I fell for it for a little while, until I saw the board. Overall, totally awesome April fools day prank.
Well… While this is obviously a rather amusing April Fools joke (I’ve been waiting for it, frankly) I do like the part about “playing as the creeper”. If there were a way to do this in CW, I would be extremely happy. 🙂
That map looks pretty interesting, though.
*Clap*. *Clap*. *Clap*.
Laugh all you want, but autistic people like myself are EXTREMELY sensitive to jokes when they are on us. >:(
I nearly died inside in the 20 seconds I spent nearly buying it and not fully realizing this was just an April Fool’s gag. 😮 It’s that sensitivity that makes me think of April Fool’s gags that have even the tiniest traces of believability as “beneath” me. >:( ::) Because there is a large audience that has received this gag, I will ask nothing in return to compensate for how hurt I was. Take the joke as you see fit, people. (I couldn’t care less) ::) But in those times when I am the sole target for any fast ones or jokes against me, I never leave well enough alone if I can help it.
I may have a sense of humor in other situations, but if I know I will genuinely hurt anyone else with a zinger, wisecrack, joke, etc., you can bet your bottom dollar I will not do it. I fear the possibility of taking humor hurtfully far, and when is it more likely to happen than April Fool’s I wonder? Thus, as I currently forsee it, no one will ever catch me pulling a single fast one on April Fool’s.
(That includes this comment F.Y.I.)
Sorry, but when I read the post, it hurt me before I found out it was a gag, and as an autistic person, I get defensive when a joke is on me.
Testing once more to see if the rolling eyes sumbol works: ::)
Uh, you just introduced me to a whole new world of thinking there O.o
I never thought an April’s Fool joke like this could hurt anybody, guess I learned something.
However, I found it pretty funny. It was great he kept a serious tone while still referring to different positions in his company (CEO, CFO, lead tester), mostly because he’s all of them 😀
Just take it with the knowledge that in no way Virgil tried to hurt anybody here, nor to “do a joke on somebody” – he just made up something pretty funny for most of us – a really good piece of entertainment! 🙂
I do not agree though with you not demanding anything in return! I think you should demand a free special platinum box of Creeper Agent to compensate for your hurt feelings 😀
I know I was not intentionally harmed, but I have been unintentionally harmed a few billion times before in my life.
billion? I only have a couple million in mine… you must be ancient! xD
well if you think this is bad you should see what some one did to me, they changed my alarm to someone screaming THE WATER IS ON FIRE! that kinda freaked my out, but I got through that
then they also moved the CW2 icon and the minecraft launcher to a file (named april fools day)
“later someone gave me a large basket full of candy, and all of it was just empty wrappers” (I want to know how they got the wrappers sealed)
and finally I saw this and the minecraft one which I knew by the time but I went along with it.
“(words here)” = April fools!
*prepares speech about 4xC being overly sensitive and not having a sense of humor* *rereads 4xC’s post* Oh your autistic…. But seriously don’t waste your time with people because there are too many A**holes out there to deal with them all. As George Carlin said ” Live and let live and if someone doesn’t agree with that take them outside and… (gets a bit graphic from there for this site because I imagine there are a lot of kids to check this blog and even though it is something I honestly wouldn’t care about saying I simply know that people can be kinda over sensitive lol )
I did decide to live and let live because I know the audience has more people in it besides myself, but I had to say something either way, and I hate being dishonest. Have you heard that people who are either not good at or do not spend much time in face-to-face socialization often use internet identities to relieve the pain or something like that?
This is a blog catering to thousands of people. This joke was not directed “to you”.
Duh. I knew that, smart one. (Where I come from, it is almost always sarcastic to call someone “smart one”. Or at least it was every time I heard someone say it.)
Then why did you post that long rant? Confused…
Because I am a KC regular and I feel more comfortable making responses to things I am a regular for. Besides, in most cases, saying nothing is just pitiful.
Nevermind.
I’m surprised I could understand anything you said with your tongue so far into your cheek.
I personally like that virgilw did this to us 🙂
When I first saw it, I didnt beleive it, then over time, I started to beleive it (lol)
Well, as a buisness game executive whom has been climbing the corporate ladder rapidly, I declare you, virgilw, jobless, and this entire creeper world project terminated. Every copy of games one and two will be instantaneously destroyed 4/5/13 3:30PM Mountain Eastern Time nation-wide. Oh, and virgilw,
April fools :p 😉 (:
I nearly PMS when I saw this 😀
For a second I thought it was true, then didn’t get it until I scrolled the comments.
BLAHAHAHAHA! This is hilarious.
i baleav it
I hope you aren’t doing anything….. illegal….. to get the Dihydrogen Monoxide. That stuff is deadly and therefore strictly controlled! It’s right up there with nitro-glycerin and other lethal substances! You need a license to even consider using it!
On another note,
*slow, sarcastic clap*
How do you clap sarcastically?
I read somewhere that Dihydrogen Monoxide is unhealthy. Does it matter which one I use — water versus Dihydrogen Monoxide?
I’d start with water as that is best for amateurs. But, once you get some cred and l33t status, move up to the Dihydrogen Monoxide.
Maybe it’s best to stick to water all along. The “BAN DIHYDROGEN MONOXIDE”-movement is going strong these last months. Better avoid any problems by avoiding it’s use in your products, Virgil 🙂
Thinks “What?, then sees date, then thinks Do’h!
So now your rich? 🙂
OW DAMN… I had like 25 bottles of that stuff and I just sold them yesterday…
Ok I gotta say, I like the ‘jerky/uncaring/kinda crazy CEO’ attitude you went with in this. Almost reminds me of Portal 2’s Cave Johnson.
saw through it from the start
and when reading it I was thinking the exact same thing
hm…. in portal 2 there were blue orange and white gel so orange creeper?
SOLD!! I already sent the check for 10k and will expect shipment as soon as this new project is complete.
this is stupid that you are not going to make cw 3 and i am very disapointed
wait is this April fool day prank
As an Amish man, this makes me happy to know that I can play Creeper World.
How could you post that if you are Amish? Does your barn have internet?
Lol I realized the same thing ysterday 😀
So many holes in this…
Hypocrite… >;)
I almost believed it, until you said “my whole staff”, then i saw the date
This is the second best April Fools prank I’ve seen this year (Sorry, Virgil, but it would have to be something exceptional to beat BoardGameGeek’s GeekStarter idea).
Also, I hope that map makes it into the Alpha System. It looks like it would be a good challenge.
At first I was sad. Then I thought, “Wait, that isn’t true. It’s far from it. At least one or two video games came out recently that have had a very high rating, and a LOT of people have bought them.” Obvious April Fools prank after you think about it, made me feel stupid for not realizing it before this morning though. Now, I have to get a laptop key fixed.
My emoticon journey while reading this…
😀 :S :O :C >:C : | >.> XD
In the ending credits of both the other games, its mostly 1 person. So why would you need a CEO? 🙂 And I highly doubt you have a vast treasury.
Hahaaha! We don’t even get the maps, just coupons to buy them! Happy April everyone.
*don’t forget the choking Waring for all the tinny sponges*
Yes!
No longer will I have to use blue food coloring and mold unique maps to experience real life Creeper World joy.
You can expect an order from me 😉
U SELL REAL CREEPER AND EMITTER?
U CAN DESTROY NASA NOW!
I heard from a company in china that they could start producing this immediately! But they were worried about what to do about getting all of the little sponges. : )
Really? there’s Dihydrogen Monoxide, yet they worry about the sponges?
;p
It’s China, you can find that at any corner market. 🙂
They already had the paper, clay, and dihydrogen monoxide but for reasons I can’t say. 😉 But getting clean sponges can be difficult.
You know, april fools seems like a terrible holliday. It teaches us to lie and prank unsuspecting civilians all because it is fun. People are terrible for feeding off other’s misery, Innocent pranks can cause tremendous grief, but it is fun so we do it anyway. I support this holiday, but when you think of the logistics, it just seems terrible.
Way to take the thougts right out of my mind. It is the point I had in mind when I made the comment way above.
Ha, loved the buildup of how good the physics and stuff were, then the list of supplies that come in the order. 🙂
Please don’t do this again, i almost died
warom is de spel dood??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
I’m guessing this is “Warum ist die spiel dude?” Meaning “How’s the game, dude?” 😀
It isn’t. It’s a crude attempt at Dutch, asking “Why is the game dead”.
To answer the original question: check the posts date, april 1st.
I believed you when you at the 3D bit, but stopped when you went on.
*pokes with fork*
How did you get unchained from your desk? Back to work!
^
Maybe he’ll blow the news next time.”Hint” “Hint”
BEST PRANK OF THE MILLIONAIRES
I hope we get another update soon I can’t wait for this game to come out.
I thought the joke was going to develop into, “This 3D environment is called reality. And we have already shipped it to your front door. Go outside and see it.”
The next day:
Virgilw: A very early release of the new project is available here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RP3aj_f2djE
The silence and anticipation are killing me. You fattened us up all this time and now our stomachs are shrinking in agony D: I REQUIRE SUSTENANCE!
Is there an update coming soon? The silence is killing me^^
Remember when we got updates every week? It’s been four since the last video. Hint hint.
Seriously though, take your time. I’ll wait.
I’ll try to get a new post up before this week is out… I’ve been busy working on the last of the major features in the game, but should have something more to talk about in a few days.
Woo, blog updates!
His only reason is that he secretly doesn’t want to release them due to spoilers. Or just wants to be greedy and keep all of the awesomeness to himself. 🙂
Lol thats probably it ^.^
Wooo! The game release is approaching 🙂 *Screams inside head all week*
Not asking for one, but WILL we get a release date, or will you,virgilw, release it randomly by surprise? 😀
How will blasters work?
There are multiple videos on blasters. Also, there are multiple comments on the blasters. Go check them out!
In the new game.
(I know it’s an april fools joke. Just wondering about it.)
P.S. they are not blasters anymore. The name “Pulse Cannon” may be longer, but it is the new name/replcement for blasters.
Most of the time, us beta people call them PC’s.
We all know that bombers can drop anti-creeper bombs,andd simple-explosive ones,so i thought that instead of some freezing tower,bombers could drop bombs that freeze creeper. When bomber drops bomb creeper freezes,but the ice would continiue to spread a bit after that
Liquid Nitrogen Bombs LOL might not work as well as you think remember sometime adding something to the ocean will DISPLACE enough of it to flood a city on the other side of the world
You are wrong because of physics.
They only can drop AC now. Unless virgil did something that I don’t know about.
That sounds even more dangerous than Dihydrogen Monoxide.
I immediately looked at the picture and knew it was fake lol.
If I may ask you for a favor: Please announce the release at least a week before actual release, so I have the time to play the campaigns of the prequels again (in order to have the story fresh in my mind). Thank you^^
With the lack of a new video for a few weeks, is anyone else starting to worry that this wasn’t an April Fool’s joke?!
I’m rather intrigued by the rate at which comments get approved today. Gives hope that the game is done, is being test-played now, and inbetween the missions Virgil approves comments!
Well, that’s my theory^^ I guess I hope what I want to believe anyways 😀
Or maybe it means he’s just hit a roadblock and is using his comment section as an excuse to not work on it for now. But lets desperately hope it is you answer my good Molay.
In his last update (not counting the April Fools joke) looked pretty good. With heart-breakingly beautiful animated menus and such. He’s way to close to finishing the game to not finish it.
Sacrifices must be made in the name of progress!
Virgil,there could be a titan or standart class unit which would fire bomb,or somekind of projetile,which when hits ground(covered in creeper) would open a small black hole which would act as ” sink ” and would suck small ammount of creeper,and runners (or perhaps ” crawlers” :/ ) with it,after which,it closes
The forge does the sucking up thing like a black hole according to Virgil.
Is the sun(in the map selection) serving any purpose? Will it serve any type of purpose? Sorry if this has already been asked before!
It is the link to the sector map.